Little Piece Of My Heart 2020

The trials and tribulations I have experienced within the last 2 days has been quite tragic.  But manmade tragedy. Definitely not created by yours truly.  My last blog entry I talked of the frustration and sadness I feel being in a marriage for 20 yrs with someone who thinks that you resent and take advantage of him.  I woke up at 3 am not able to sleep.  I felt compelled to write because I still feel the sting of what my husband texted me 2 days ago. I transcribed the text into my journal so that I have a physical copy in case my phone goes down for some reason.  Or for some reason he decides to kick me out of my home.  Yesterday he tried to do what was a lame attempt of an apology and a lame ass hug.  I told him that I am still stinging from the night before.  I don't forgive easily.  Especially when you attack my parenting style and blame me for why Leo is not further in life currently.

I want to say to my husband you have major issues you need to deal with because me and our son feel frightened of you because you don't see the sincerity in our attempts to stay on our path and support you the best way the we can within the present moment. When all that my husband does is look at me and our son as money maker then how does he expect to connect with us on a genuine level?  I also woke up so early because I could not stop crying.  I was crying over and over again hearing my husband's hurtful words to insult my very character. I felt as though he was ripping my heart out from my chest.  I partook of numerous amounts of joints as he tore me apart psychologically .

That was 2 days ago and today I feel nonplussed by his arrogance.  I rise above this tragedy and persevere regardless.